On our arrival yesterday afternoon, Mama was getting a bath came out with a sullen and surly attitude. This was bad timing for certain but doubly bad as her sister-in-law Terre and her husband John were there to see her. We all went to the outside patio and visited for an hour or so and Mama did grace us with a few smiles and chuckles, but was mainly quiet and … seemingly sad. Terre and John felt the visit went really well and were so happy they came. Perhaps on their next visit Mama will be feeling better and more receptive.
During our visit I explained to Mama who Terre and John were and spoke to her as her son, Wint. I suspected this was not going to elicit the hoped for response I wanted for Aunt Terre, and indeed it did not. Worse, I think it compounded the agitated mental state Mama was in. 😦
Even with all the above challenges, like a snake charmer, I was able to get Mama to rise up a few times to laugh and smile. I told of the time she stood up for me during grade school and made me so happy she was my Mama …
In grade school, raising my hand to ask to go to the restroom was virtually not an option for me. My stutter being as pronounced as it was made that ordeal quite an embarrassment for not just me, but I knew everyone was embarrassed for me as well. (In perspective, I have come to appreciate the impact my stutter had on my audience and I realize now I had a keen sense of it real time when I was a little boy. My heart broke for my audience as much as it did for myself. People are so good.) On that day I was not able to “hold it” until I got home, and I wet my pants sitting at my desk. Perhaps to this day I have not felt such relief as I did then when I finally gave up that struggle. Leaving class and walking to the car I carried a book in front and one in back. Arriving at the car Mama knew. With a highly agitated expression and righteous anger in her voice she told me to wait in the car. She strode into that school with the carriage as one into battle. On her return she gently and lovingly told me I need never again ask to go to the restroom and that I was to quietly leave class and go as often as I needed. I didn’t feel loved that day. I was loved. My Mama did the mama thing and protected her baby cub. I was enveloped by the manifestation of motherhood. Motherhood … life’s mortar which holds family together and the source of its strength.
That experience was not nearly as impactful for me as it may read. As a small child I was enveloped by familial love from my parents and siblings. Only as an adult am I able to intuit how blessed I was to have that love. To this day, I am nurtured by that childhood love and adoration.
Aunt Terre and John had dinner with us before heading back and we all enjoyed the visit.
Hope this message finds you doing extraordinarily well and happy.