Concerned whether she was "bad"

Mama was in fine form yesterday. She was laying down but awake when I arrived.

We had a spirited discussion and she was well aware she was a Mama and very concerned whether she was “bad”. She would start to cry when I assured her she was not bad and that she had been a great mother. She was gladdened as I described the challenges she faced as a mother of five kids and what a wonderful job she did.

Mama was also well aware that she regularly sees me. She always wants me to know how much she loves me, but yesterday this seemed even more important to her. She puts her fists in the air, screws up her face, angrily tells me how much she loves me, then starts crying. I’ve tried puzzling out of her what she is feeling in those moments, but cannot say for sure. I suspect she unconsciously dwells on shadows of her past and is scared that “her folks” do not know the depth of her love and she is angry no one is there to tell.

While we talked it seemed as though she was aware I was “somebody” to her but we talked about ourselves, her kids and her husband as though they were third parties to our own lives. As I wrote that sentence I realized it made no sense. Perhaps such are characteristics of dementia. Maybe mine as well as hers. Oh my! 🙂

Staff were particularly attentive to my presence and a couple of the younger women came into the room while I was visiting. My suspicious nature caused me to wonder if this was “for show”, but Mama behaved very naturally with them and they were very loving towards her. The “goodies campaign” will continue! 🙂

Mama’s teeth appear to returning to “white”. She still looks fairly “snaggle toothed”, but her countenance is at least not so jarring. The facility is getting a dentist and we are “on the list” to have Mama see … at the risk of creating a micro aggression, can I say “him”? By golly, it could be a woman you know?!

DyAnne told me that Mama usually comes out in the morning after breakfast and again after lunch. It is typical that residents take naps after lunch and Mama is curious as to where everyone is. DyAnne mentioned that Mama lays down as much as she does because she complains bitterly about pain constantly. I asked if she was receiving the prescribed treatment down there and whether Mama fought staff who were trying to help her. I did not get much of an answer. 😦

Before talking to DyAnne I talked to a staff woman named Shellie, who is an “in charge” staff person and does not interact directly with residents, and she told me that Alice is the responsible staff person to ensure all residents have their teeth brushed in the mornings.

On my next visit I will spend some time with management and report how that goes.

All is well at Pylant Palace. Hope this message finds you all well as well. Well, that’s enough well’s for this well written note!  🙂



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s